A social media post making the rounds online has sparked intense conversations about modern relationships, marriage, and commitment.
The post suggests that men should avoid legal marriage with a woman until they have lived with her for at least five years and have had one or two children together. According to the writer, time and close interaction are the only ways to truly understand a partner’s character.
The post also advises men to pay attention to the mother of a woman they intend to marry, claiming that it could provide clues about the woman’s personality and tendencies.
In the write-up, the author argues that many women supposedly change once they get married, insisting that living together for several years after traditional marriage rites, but before legal marriage, would allow men to determine whether their partner is peaceful, supportive, and faithful.
The post reads in part:
“Check the mother of your wife-to-be well, you would get some clue about her tendencies. However, I think men should start living with women nowadays first, after the bride price or traditional wedding has been conducted. After about five years, if she is peaceful, supportive, faithful and has given you one or two children, you may then go ahead to marry her legally, that is if she insists on legal marriage.”
The writer concluded by urging men to avoid legal marriage with women they have not lived with for at least five years or had children with.
Unsurprisingly, the post has generated mixed reactions online.
Some people believe the suggestion reflects growing fears around divorce, incompatibility, and the pressure that often comes with legally binding marriages. Supporters argue that spending years together before signing legal documents could help couples understand each other better and avoid rushed decisions.
Others, however, strongly disagree with the idea. Critics argue that having children before legal marriage could leave women vulnerable, especially in societies where legal protections often depend on marital status. Many also pointed out that relationships require mutual trust and commitment, not prolonged “tests” before marriage.
There are also those who feel the idea places unfair expectations on women, reducing relationships to a trial period that largely benefits men.
The debate highlights a broader shift in how people view relationships today. With rising divorce rates, evolving social values, and changing ideas about commitment, more couples are questioning traditional timelines for marriage.
But the question remains: does living together for years truly reveal someone’s character, or does commitment itself shape how partners grow together?
As conversations continue online, one thing is clear, discussions about marriage, expectations, and compatibility are far from settled.
What do you think? Should couples live together for years before legal marriage, or does commitment come before the test of time?